| The bridal registry has been around for a long | | | | eye at traditional household goods on a registry, |
| time. It was designed for a very pragmatic | | | | once you start including very expensive items or |
| reason: to help wedding guests figure out what | | | | things that appeal only to a certain crowd, things |
| gifts might be pleasing to the bride and groom, | | | | can get a bit dicier. |
| and to help the bride and groom by eliminating the | | | | As people start to get more and more creative in |
| issue of receiving duplicated or simply undesired | | | | the types of bridal registries that they are |
| gifts. And yet, when you are basically telling | | | | designing, they are more likely to do something |
| someone what they should buy for you, it can be | | | | really tacky. One thing you should never do is try |
| easy to get into territory that is not so polite or | | | | to use your registry as a vehicle to get your |
| correct. This begs the question, is it tacky to | | | | guests to finance your wedding expenses. In |
| have a bridal registry? | | | | other words, you should not register for things |
| The short answer is no...and yes. Even the most | | | | like bottles of wine or wedding jewelry in the |
| strict etiquette mavens will agree that establishing | | | | hopes that you can spend less on your wedding. |
| a traditional bridal registry is perfectly acceptable, | | | | (An exception to this would be if a bride wanted |
| and generally rather useful. There are, however, | | | | to establish a small wish list of items like wedding |
| many exceptions to this rule, and that is where | | | | jewelry, a veil, or a tiara that would be given out |
| you can run into some pretty tacky bridal registry | | | | only to immediate family members before a bridal |
| situations. | | | | shower, and only if they ask.) |
| A classic bridal registry is completed at one or | | | | Wedding guests tend to be put off by registries |
| two stores (perhaps one large national chain and | | | | that make them feel as though the couple is |
| one smaller boutique or specialty store). The usual | | | | looking for sponsors to support their lifestyle. This |
| items that are included on the gift list are the | | | | is why newer inventions like honeymoon or |
| things that are thought of as the basics for | | | | mortgage registries are right on the edge of poor |
| establishing a household. You usually see | | | | taste. In some circles they might be acceptable, |
| categories like linens (sheets, towels, tablecloths, | | | | but many older guests are likely to find them a |
| etc.), cookware, china (everyday and/or fine bone | | | | bit offensive. |
| china), crystal (and maybe nice everyday glasses), | | | | The most important thing to know about a bridal |
| small electrics (toasters, blenders, and so on), | | | | registry is how to spread the word. Never, ever |
| decorative items like clocks and vases, and if | | | | include registry information in a wedding invitation! |
| they think anyone will spring for it, a set of good | | | | Include it in the shower invitation if you must, but |
| silver. | | | | know that this is in questionable taste. Including |
| Where you start to run into questions is in the | | | | your bridal registry details discreetly on your |
| inclusion of the elements of contemporary living. | | | | wedding website is fine. The best way of all to |
| Is is okay to register for a flat screen television | | | | spread the news about your bridal registry is the |
| (borderline) or a gaming system (no!)? I once | | | | most old-fashioned: simply wait for your guests to |
| knew a bride and groom who were avid model | | | | ask you about it. Rest assured, if a wedding guest |
| airplane enthusiasts who wanted to know if it | | | | is interested in receiving the guidance of a |
| would be tacky to set up a bridal registry at their | | | | registry, they will not hesitate to inquire, and if |
| favorite hobby shop; their mothers absolutely | | | | they are not a fan of bridal registries, they will not |
| forbade it! In other words, while no one will bat an | | | | feel pressured to buy off of a wish list. |