Preparing to Die - Taking Care of Unfinished Business

Lately while I was in hospital preparing for aGuilt is often a bedfellow of the fear of dying.
major operation, the very real possibility that ILess guilt will also drastically reduce this fear.
could die during one of the procedures hit me. ItIf one does decide not to mend fences after all, if
was late in the night, and I found myself wailingone decides that the cost in personal pride is too
out loud, until the night nurse came. I cried loudlysteep, or that the offence is too serious to be
for what seemed like hours, even while calling myforgiven, the resulting clarity from the decision
husband at home to say goodbye. The way myaugurs well for increased peace of mind and less
body felt, I really felt that I would die that night.fear. In my case, I decided that I would mend an
I was even more shocked by my meltdown thanongoing breach with a close relative as soon as
either my husband or the night nurse. I hadcircumstances allowed, but not an ongoing breach
always appeared to myself and to others to bewith my former working group. I could live - or
an enlightened, self-aware and balanced person,die - with that open wound.
especially since I work as a clinical psychologist.When facing death, many people question
Additionally, I have lived with the chronic illnessthemselves about the meaning of life, or whether
requiring the operation my whole life long; deaththere is life after death. This preoccupation with
had always been a very real possibility and stillspiritual questions is an especially strong unfinished
was. It was no new threat. Later, when I hadbusiness, because it call everything into question:
calmed down, I pondered what had upset me sowhat we have valued in our lives, how we have
much about dying in that night.used our resources, mistakes we have made and
I realised that dying in itself had not upset me, butgood things we have done, and, the futility of it all.
all the chaos in my life that I wouldIt is a good time to resolve this weighty spiritual
-suddenly-leave behind. In short, unfinishedquestions in a manner that each individual finds
business.most satisfying. This lightens the fear of finality
This is a direct confirmation of the mainassociated with dying.
philosophy of the famous psychologist Albert Ellis,The Kubler-Ross model of bereavement has left
who contends that the unfinished business in ourthe annals of science and entered everyday and
lives makes us emotionally ill. To go a stepeveryman's consciousness. What often escapes
further, it can also be the main component of ournotice is that it is not just the bereaved who
fear of dying. This unfinished business could begoes through this process of mourning, but also
legal,but especially emotional or spiritual.the one dying. Yes, one is truly allowed to mourn
Preparing to die therefore includes taking care ofthe passing of one's own life. To deny that it is
unfinished business. From a legal or practicalhappening, to be angry that it is happening, to be
perspective, this means making sure wills andsad that it is happening, and finally, to accept that
other bequeathments and life insurances arraignit is happening.
order so that the beloved bereaved are takenSometimes people say that they do not fear to
care of. This also includes what to do with debts,die. I used to say that too. But that night, I
who takes care of lifetime responsibilities such asrealised that my life was important enough to me
minor children, or relatives needing care or evenfor me to mourn over its loss in a prolonged
the family pet.manner.
The unfinished business that weighs most onAccepting that one has a right to mourn the loss
most people however, is emotional or spiritual.of one's own life liberates this process from a
Emotional unfinished business includessuppressed subconscious one to a conscious, and
estrangements from family or friends, messytherefore less oppressive process. This further
partings from former loved ones or ongoing feudsreduces the angst associated with dying.
or quarrels. These open emotional conflicts absorbWe often like to think of those facing death as a
a lot of energy and fuel our fear of death.distinct group separate from us. Perhaps the
When facing imminent death, it is a good time toterminally ill, the very old or others who seem to
decide whether or not one should finish up anyhave a fixed appointment with death. The truth is,
outstanding emotional business. It might requirewe are all facing death eventually, or as I
reaching out to estranged ones to mend fencesdiscovered that night, could very suddenly do so.
or to bury a hatchet for good. The cost in one'sPerhaps the best preparation is to clean up after
pride is often amply repaid by the peace of mindourselves contiunally as we go through life,
one gains in return. At the very least, even if thekeeping unfinished legal, practical, emotional and
ones reached out to do not respond in kind, aspiritual business to an unavoidable minimum.
whole lot of guilt about the situation is off-loaded.